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By Jamie Walden
There are lots of amazing sweets out there. But there are a few that never should have been. Here’s our list of the 20 candies the world and our tastebuds could have done without.
Be sure to SHARE if you laughed as hard as we did remembering these sweets.
20. Mary Janes
The best way to tell a trick-or-treater you hate them.
19. Red Hots
I’m pretty sure this was the 90s version of the cinnamon challenge.
Like eating fruit-shaped plaster that tastes nothing like the corresponding fruit.
17. Banana Laffy Taffy
The rest of the flavors of get a pass, but Banana Laffy Taffy was just downright terrible.
Also known as ThroatStoppers.
15. Good and Plenty
I’m fairly convinced Good and Plenty was a cruel joke by someone who hates children. Why else would you make BLACK licorice candy WHITE unless you want to see a kid grimace like a baby eating a lemon for the first time? There’s plenty of this candy alright, on account of it not being any good.
Never a smart choice.
If ever in your life you’ve eaten these, chances are there is still some stuck to your teeth.
12. Bubble Gum Cigars
Did no one find it odd when we began developing a tobacco genre of candy?
11. Circus Peanuts
I imagine this is what a packing peanut tastes like.
10. Mystery Dum Dum
You never knew which terrible flavor was going to happen to you.
9. Wax Coke Bottles
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good syrupy flavor as much as the next kid. But when the first step to enjoying a piece of candy is chomping teeth-first into a piece of wax, I’m out.
8. Now and Later
It’s like eating a twisted candle.
6. Conversation Hearts
Even the generationally updated “Text Me” can’t save this terrible treat.
5. Big League Chew
Because why wouldn’t you want to grow up to be a disgusting guy with a giant tumor-ish bulge in your cheek and a Jay Leno chin? (We also especially like the “Less Money Pak” in this photo. Ahhh, grammar.)
4. Candy Corn
Little known fact: You only have to buy one bag of candy corn and just break it back out every Halloween. No one will eat them and they’ll still taste just as bad as when they were fresh.
3. Double Bubble
Reading this sentence lasts longer than it’s chalky, unforgettable flavor.
2. Black Jelly Beans
It’s like stepping on a lego for your mouth.
1. Candy Cigarettes
Go home, America. You’re drunk.
Got a candy to add? Or one in the list to defend? Share your opinion in the comments below.